I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
