got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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