Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
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i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
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Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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