It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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