just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
