I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
