In the future we'll all be gay
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
How does it feel to date your dad?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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