so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
