you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
