when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
