That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
