Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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