went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
