the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize