You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
she looked like the before picture.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
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Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
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Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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