Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
