he wants to bone in the snuggie
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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