I'm so fucking centered right now
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
