Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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