College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
