he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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