after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
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I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
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I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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