Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
