Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
