i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
