so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm just crazy horny about you
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
