Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize