We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
