you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
