Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
