Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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