Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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