Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
