He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
