my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
