Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My life is pants optional.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
