Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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