Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
