so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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