i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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