He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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