so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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