Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Blood and glitter go together right?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
