The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
