im drinking this country out of the recession.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize