You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
