i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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