I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
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I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
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I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm like, not good at living.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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