i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
