Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
You did what with his pubic hair?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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