Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
