somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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