I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
