i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
