I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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