a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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