belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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