Don't you send me to vm
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
it hurts more in the daytime
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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