So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
