Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You made out with two different species that night
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
